Published in the Yated
Dear Mommy and Tatty,
You've probably been unable to escape the grim reality that's been darkening the pages of the various frum publications recently. You probably read the editorials, interviews and letters about the heart wrenching issue of abuse in our communities with a mixture of shock and horror. Then you turn the page and say "Baruch Hashem this isn't MY problem."
Dear Mommy and Tatty,
What would you say if I would tell you that these things are more your problem than you can imagine. What would you say if I would tell you that these things happen in your very own family? What would you say if I would tell you that my cousin, your nephew, had abused me....your daughter?
Dear Mommy and Tatty,
It probably hurts you to hear that your daughter is suffering, that your daughter is going through this nisayon, and she doesn't feel safe enough to tell you. Believe me Mommy and Tatty, it hurts me so much more. You think the two of us are close mommy? Believe me, the distance between us is far greater than you could ever imagine.
Dear Mommy and Tatty,
I am the model daughter, the catch in shidduchim. I'm sure it doesn't occur to you where I go each week, does it? Mommy, Tatty, I go to therapy. Yes, me, your perfect daughter. I have ten years of abuse, ten years of suffering and pain to work through.
Dear Mommy and Tatty,
Isn't it a tragedy that I can't come to you, my parents, for help, care, love and understanding? Isn't it tragic that I endured inhumane abuse rather than face my parents and deal with their possibly negative reaction? Mommy, Tatty, the abuse went on for 10 years! Imagine if I would have felt comfortable enough to approach you years ago...perhaps it would have stopped sooner.
Dear Mommy and Tatty,
Imagine if we could recreate society's attitude towards abuse victims. Imagine if we would be made to understand, from an early age, that nobody will ever think we are at fault, and we would be assured acceptance regardless of our circumstances.
Imagine if instead of suffering in painful silence, I could, at long last fall into your outstretched arms....
Signed,
Your Daughter
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wow, this letter MUST be published ASAP, send it all over, yated, hamodia, schools, mail- get it into the face of every frum parent out there, and then maybe, just maybe, something will happen
ReplyDeleteI'm very impressed by the ability to express this so clearly. It's so great that you can get this out for others to read. I've known girls in similar situations, and some could barely get through a sentence without spacing out completely.
ReplyDeleteAt least one ended up placed by her parents in a psychiatric hospital for depression, where thankfully they figured out what was going on. She was so glad to finally talk about it.
I am extra glad that there is a way for young people to have access to regularly scheduled therapy even without their parents' knowledge. Congratulations on the strength to pursue it.
This letter is sure to scare a lot of parents out there...
ReplyDeleteI am thrilled to know there is a girl who is in therapy without her parents knowing! Twenty five years ago, I was in therapy, but the therapist turned around and told my parents everything I said!!
ReplyDeletethis letter was published in this week's yated!
ReplyDeleteI didn't get a chance to read it yet, did they edit it?
ReplyDeletei haven't had a chance to compare them yet. i will IYH after Shabbos.
ReplyDeleteThis si the scariest thing i have EVER read its me in every sense of the word!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My situation is so similar you can just change it to Mommy and Daddy and that'll be me!
ReplyDeletedopey, you can write your own letter, and we'll help you send it out to various publications...
ReplyDelete